Conflict is inevitable and a normal part of life. Healthy conflict can lead to positive changes in personal relationships. Negative conflict can be very destructive and can sap energy from everyone around.

Causes of Conflict

Searching for the causes can be helpful in resolving the conflict. Here are some common causes to be aware of:

? Misunderstandings

? Personality clashes

? Differences in values or goals

? Unclear responsibilities

? Needs or wants are not being met

? Values are being challenged

? Boundaries are being violated

? Perceptions are being questioned

? Assumptions are being made

? Perceived lack of resources

? Dissatisfaction or disappointment

? Change of any kind

? Awareness or knowledge is minimal

? Expectations are too high/too low

Conflict Can Be Constructive

While it is true that most of us are not particularly comfortable with conflict, it can be a positive and productive way to achieve desirable outcomes:

? Clarify important problems and issues

? Achieve solutions to problems together

? Resolve mutually important issues

? Find your authentic voice and tell your personal truth

? Ease emotions and stress when you experience one of the common causes of conflicts

? Build cooperation between you and another person when you reveal more about yourself and make it your priority to really hear the other person

? Increase your awareness about yourself and another person

? Develop deeper understanding, empathy and communication skills

Don?t be afraid of conflict that may arise in your relationships. Learn the all-important skills to resolve conflict respectively and constructively. Create the love relationship, family relationships and business relationships that match your emotional intelligence and maturity.

Remember, only YOU can make it happen!

Copyright Dr. Jackie Black 1999-2005

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