When we think of the kind of ongoing love relationship we would desire to live in, one of the things we think of is a sense of warmth.

At the same time, there are times in love relationships when it can get quite chilly. When anger, resentment and other negative feelings have built up, the relationship can feel as cold as ice.

Once it gets icey in a relationship, we can either deepen the ice or break the ice.

How to deepen the ice

=> Do your part to keep up the silent treatment. Believe it is healthy and useful.

=> Rehearse whatever wrongs have been committed over and over in your mind. Do not let them pass.

=> Bring others into the situation and try to convince them you are a victim and your partner is a villain.

=> Take verbal shots at each other.

How to break the ice

=> Take responsibility for your part in the mess you both have created.

=> Be first - to apologize, break the silence, break the ice. Being first makes you the bigger person. Take the lead.

=> Agree that more than a few seconds of the silent treatment is unacceptable.

=> Refuse to accept the silent treatment as an option in the relationship.

While storms in love relationships are inevitable, remember that ice is optional.